I recently came across this really thoughtful model regarding grief. It’s called “Growing around Grief” and was created by grief counselor Lois Tonkin.
Basically, the model demonstrates that at first when a loved one passes away grief fills every part of your life. Grief is all consuming.
Instead of the original thought that grief shrinks as time goes by, she shares that our grief doesn’t go away, it doesn’t shrink- in fact it stays the same just as the love we have for our loved one. Our grief stays just as big, but our lives grow around it. There are times where the grief feels very intense. But there are other times where we live in the space outside the circle of our grief. Showing we in fact still can carry on with our own lives all while grieving the loss of our loved one.
Isn’t this just a beautiful depiction of love, loss and moving forward? Time doesn’t take away the pain, it helps you grow with it.
I will always carry my grief because it means I’m carrying my late husband Andy with me. But I also want to keep living my life because that’s what Andy would want too.
My three kids and I have grown the space around our grief for over 8 years! Since Andy’s death we have done hard things! We have stepped out of our comfort zone. From moving, to new schools, starting new jobs, meeting new people, trying new hobbies, visiting new places. And we did all of these things with both happiness and missing Andy. We try new things and go to new places bringing him with us!
Life is growing all around us. But Andy is always in our hearts.
Now go on and grow your space too❤️
Katie
