As children we are always in a rush to grow up. A rush for summer break, that first boyfriend/girlfriend, maybe that first kiss, driver’s license, 18th birthday, basically a rush to become an adult.
Do you ever feel like your life is still in this “rush” mode? That we are always future seeking? Always planning, dreaming, plotting: “the next thing.”
The Day Everything Changed
My “next thing” completely changed on November 26, 2016. Death does that to a person, stops you in your tracks. My husband Andy, left the house that day and never returned. My life perspective completely changed from a focus on the “next thing” to a focus on the “now.” One day a happily married wife, mother of 2, with a baby on the way, swiftly turned into a single, widowed mother now to raise three children on her own.
The Last Morning Together
That morning, I was “rushing.” I was planning and plotting my day. Thinking about where we could go out to lunch and waiting for Andy to get home so we could go on with our day. I have no regrets on that day, which I am forever thankful, but If I had one wish, it would have been to savor every moment I had with that man, that morning. To hug him a little longer, smile at him a little more brightly, laugh at his lame jokes a little louder, tell him how much I love him. Because little did I know, the rush I had this day and the life I had plotted, planned and wished days away for, would be his last.
The Fragile Beauty of Life
The truth of the matter is, my story can happen to any of us. There is no guarantee of the future. I desire for you to embrace the special gift of each new day and recognize how lucky we are that we get to spend that gift with those we love. Each day is a beautiful new gift. There will be ups and there will be downs. No day is going to be perfect and some days will frankly, suck. We always have a choice, a decision, an option of either dreaming of the future-because that seems better in our minds, or choosing happiness in the moment that we are in, imperfections and all.
Advice to My Former Self
If I could go back and tell myself before my husband died to embrace each day, shake off the bad, smile at the good and slow down, I would do it in a blink of an eye. But that’s impossible, so what advice can we give as we embrace the season of grief we are living? How do we embrace the present when we are experiencing pain? Actually, we Greivers might be experts at this because we do know how short life is. We know the pain, we know the sorrow, but we also know how beautiful and precious life is, those small moments that we would give anything to have back.
Meet Your Grief Where It Is
I would encourage you wherever you are in your grief season, meet it there, and to take moments of your day to be present. Look around you, the loved ones you have, the memories still to be made, the laughs to be had, and such is life the tears to be cried. The more you take time to notice the beauty and small moments of each day is such a brave step in healing. And not to mention we have this one short life to live So Live It!
Katie
